Someone to inspire…

I’m one of those people who always needs a role-model in life. It could be anybody – a classmate, a best friend, an elder person in the family, my parents colleagues/friends, a senior from school or college… just about anyone.

In school, I remember looking upto certain teachers. First thing in the morning at the assembly, my eyes would scan the auditorium for a glimpse of my favourite teacher. My day wouldn’t be complete without seeing them. If they were absent, or I missed their class, I would get a little sad. I would get furiously defensive if someone criticized them. And I’d do anything for them – run errands, carry books… To some people, it might have looked like I was sucking up to the teachers, but for me, it was always just to get a smile from them. One smile or a kind word, and I would be floating on a cloud.

At one point of time, I was in awe of the seniors at school. They would look so grown-up wearing their lab coats during practicals, taking down running notes in class (I always thought that was a grown-up thing to do!), and the board would be full of scribblings that I thought I would never understand. The way the Head Girl/Head Boy would conduct the morning prayers, and make the announcements… It always seemed to me that I would never grow-up and do all those things. And to be the Head Girl of school – that became my biggest dream… one of the dreams that I accomplished…

When I first joined college, I was lost for a while. None of the teachers seemed to know what they were talking about, forget being wonderful enough to be an inspiration. And for a while, I was struggling to make friends too – life was miserable. And then, I learnt to draw on past experiences, and from within myself.
Sadly, so far, my college teachers are still not like my school teachers were. At the most, they could be a friend, but not someone I could look upto. Or maybe I was just younger then, and less cynical.

I’ve been interning for a while now, and I’ve found a lovely office, with people I’ve begun to consider as family. And finally, some wonderful people to look upto. I’m not the child I was once, when I would give my teachers chocolates on my birthday, and wait eagerly for their smiles and wishes. I’ve grown up too, and I’ve learnt to work alongside them. I observe the way they carry themselves, the things they do, the way they work, the way they treat other people, and I try to absorb as much of it as I can. In some ways I haven’t changed – I still love to run errands and do something for them. A sincere compliment, and a smile, or even a request for some help… and I’d be on cloud nine…

My role models in life keep changing, depending upon what I’m looking for as an inspiration. It may be childish, but I think it’s a nice way to grow up. And I sincerely hope I never reach a stage when I have no one to inspire me.

I’m old enough now to know the difference between right and wrong, and I’m able to accept it even when the people who I believed were always perfect are wrong sometimes. I know everyone makes mistakes and I try to not make the same myself.

Some of these people may have never known how much they meant to me, or how big a part of my life they have been, and in some ways, still are. But each of these experiences has taught me so much, and remain etched in my mind.

And this time, I hesitate to let go… Maybe a fear, of leaving a familiar place, a place where the work I do is valued, a place where I am valued, or perhaps its just that I would simply miss them… But whatever it is, I know I can’t stay in the same place forever, and I know that at some stage I have to move on.

And I move on with the hope that I’ll learn enough to be an inspiration to someone else at some point of my life….

The Sweetness of Summer

March is here already. The days are getting hotter, and the nights warmer. Even the cool breeze that blows by the beach in the evenings is now warm. The newspapers carry articles on hair and skin care during this season, recipes for juices and shakes to keep you feeling cool, and places to visit to beat the heat. And we Chennaites are getting geared up for another summer. Living in a place where we don't exactly experience, 'cold weather', one would think that it doesn't make such a difference after all. I personally prefer cold weather to the hot season, but I love summer for one reason - it holds the sweetest memories.

As a little kid, I remember summer was the best time of the year. School would close and we would immediately start making plans to spend time with cousins. My sister and I would go over to Patti's house - we would spend days together with our cousins. Of course we'd have innumerable fights, someone or the other would go into a sulk, but it was always part of the fun. We'd spend the hot afternoons indoors - playing games where we'd pretend we were college-girls, or looking after our baby dolls, running a shop... anything that the imagination of 4 girls could think of... :) We'd eat mangoes all day- mangoes after breakfast, lunch, tiffin and dinner - mango anytime we were bored. And lots of watermelon too... We'd jump into the sandpit in the evening, armed with utensils straight from the kitchen! After a few hours of playing around in the sand, our mothers would pick us up, hose us down, and drop us straight into the bathtub... We'd invariably be tired out by dinner time, and sit around Patti for dinner. Patti would sometimes tell us stories and with all four of us girls seated around her, she would mix sambar/rasam/curd rice and put it in our kutti hands... And we would never realise that we'd eaten much more than when we would if we eat alone. By 9 in the night, we'd all nod off to sleep cuddled up together.

With my paternal cousins, it was a little different - we would play a lot outdoors . I sucked at cricket, and would spend most of the game getting teased or scolded for dropping the easiest of catches. And of course, the almost-annual Ooty trips... a few days off from the heat, the four of us would pack off with Thatha and Patti and head to a guest house in Ooty... Boating, horse-riding, carrom, and innumerable card games would keep us occupied. Another unforgettable pastime was trying to skate on the varnished wooden floors of the guest house wearing our socks! And the 4 days that we spent in the guest house, each of us would get a chance to tell the cook what soup we wanted for dinner! :)

The end of summer was synonymous with back-to-school-shopping, and we would set aside an entire day to buy new uniforms, books, stationery, shoes...anything else we required. And another day would be spent on wrapping the books in brown paper and fixing labels. By the time school began in June, we would be excited and looking forward to it!

When I finished 9th Standard, and joined tuitions for the 10th Boards, summertime became more serious. Getting up for tuitions as early as 6 in the morning on Sunday's and trying to spend the hot afternoons with my books... life started getting stressful. And things remained that way till I finished school. Now in college, I write my semester exams during the middle of May -we crib, struggle to study and write exams through the heat. And once the exams are over - its time to make the best use of vacation time and look out for a good internship.

*Sigh*

Makes you miss the fun of childhood - when summer was one long vacation.
I still make the most of the summer though - eating icecream, juicies and fruits as often as possible, frequent visits to the beach with friends... I mostly enjoy the fact that the sun doesnt go down till 7, so you have a nice long day. And I'd have to admit that I have started looking out for a nice internship for this summer... :)

Life is one long journey, I guess... and you enjoy new experiences as you go along... Treasure the memories and create new ones.... Here's to a fun and sunny summer!